Sisters

I'm the youngest of three girls. Growing up it wasn't pretty. My middle sister, Jeanette, and I pretty much wanted to kill one another. Things were much better between me and my oldest sister, Michelle. Probably because there was a larger gap in our ages (7 years) and we had more in common. We both played sports and were more tom-boyish. Jeanette was much more girly. While Michelle and I were out playing sports, Jeanette was making "Forenza" sweaters in home economics and playing "house."

The fighting between me and Jeanette was pretty ugly and lasted, I think, up through me going to college. Things started getting better when I graduated college but we still didn't have much of a relationship. It wasn't until I decided to end my first marriage and get a divorce that things really changed between us. I was really alone in my decision to get divorced and it was a hard pill for everyone to swallow since I had been with this person for 11 years. Jeanette opened her home to me and stood by my side and supported my decision. Now, while I'm not mentioning Michelle, it's not because she wasn't supportive. Mich doesn't live as close and being older, she provides a much more protective kind of support. She's always looking out for me and making sure I'm ok. You don't want to mess with me or you'll have Michelle to answer to!!

Flash forward to today...I talk to Jeanette at least once a day, if not more. She is the glue keeping me, my mom and Michelle all in the loop as to what is going on with each other. She has also been going through the process of adopting a baby for the last 3.5 years. Her and her husband have 2 healthy boys but always felt their family was not complete. Dying for a little girl, they started the adoption process. Well, after years of waiting, hopes up, major let downs, they finally left for Russia last Saturday to meet their baby girl. However, it turns out things didn't go the way they should have. The agency they used neglected to tell them that the baby girl was born 23 weeks premature and had health issues. Due to what they saw when they met the baby, they needed to turn this child down. There is so much more to this, which I can't possibly get into, but all I can say is that it's been a heart wrenching two days.

Yesterday, Michelle and I were hanging on to any email we could get from Jeanette in Russia. We were both physically sick to our stomachs worrying about her and so angry that someone hurt our sister like this. I cried all day, I couldn't imagine the hurt and disappointment Jeanette was feeling. And I hated that she was so far away and we couldn't have our daily phone conversation. What I felt yesterday, and even right now, is hard to explain. It's like I feel her pain. I can't stop crying or thinking about her and my heart actually hurts right now. Heh, I can't even pull myself together to go work out...so you know it must be bad!! Although the past few days have sucked, it actually taught me something. I love my sisters, but until yesterday, I never realized how incredible a bond between sisters can be. I am so thankful for my sisters and I haven't got a clue what I would do with out them. I would do absolutely anything for them and wish I could take Jeanette's pain away from her right now.

And if Jeanette gives me the ok, I'm going to unleash on the rep from this Agency they used. I'm crushed and sad and hurt, but I'm also beyond mad. I have no clue how someone can do this to a family. Send them across the world, thinking they are meeting their baby girl, only to find out they were deceived. This is some shady shit.