Where I'm At

"In such a funk, struggling through workouts, have a headache and want to cry"

My tweet first thing this morning. After I missed my swim* and struggled through my bike workout both physically and mentally.  Even had to fight back tears when Andy came down to the basement to see how I was feeling. But I pushed through and ended up with a solid workout of intervals.

Two more months to go. Or as a good friend told me, "8 weeks...because it sounds shorter." Which it does. But I'm not sure if that helps because then I feel the panic of it being here so soon. Which I know it will be. In fact, this week the dreams started and two nights in a row I've had very vivid dreams of race day. I think how I'm feeling has a lot has to do with worrying about the big workouts I have coming up. I need to keep repeating, "one day at a time."

This past weekend I rode 90 miles, by myself, and it was a pretty big deal for me. My last 90 mile ride got screwed up because of weather and half of it was done on the trainer. So this was the furthest I have gone outside. The ride went really well but I'd by lying if I said I wasn't exhausted after it. I had to deal with a lot of wind (which is good practice for IMFL) and since I ride solo, I didn't have anyone to pull for me to give me a little break. It was the first time all summer I wished I had company out there. My legs were burning by the time I was done and I was a little sore in my back and arms from being in aero for that long.  After laying around for a little bit, I managed to go to the pool for an easy swim afterwards and it really helped loosen things up. The following morning I pushed through a 16 mile run and definitely could tell I had worked hard the day before.

Coming up this weekend I have a 96 mile ride and a 17 mile run the next day. Of course it's been beautiful all week but on Saturday it's going to be 92 degrees with "oppressive humidity." Wheee, I can't wait. I'm a little anxious about this ride but I can't say exactly why. Maybe because it's so close to 100 and that just seems huge?? I dunno. But while I might not know why I'm nervous about it, I do know that I'll get it done.

65 days to go...

*will make up swim tonight, I refuse to miss workouts for no reason. I'll save missed workouts for when I'm sick or completely broken and really need a rest day.

IMFL Signs

The week after my 70/14 brick was a cut back week and it came at the perfect time. I was in such a funk last week with training. I battled insomnia all week and because of that, I just had no motivation to workout. It started Sunday night after my brick; I was beyond exhausted and my body would just not fall asleep. From there, it just kept getting worse all week and by the time Friday came, I was all out of whack. I got all my workouts in but each one of them included some thoughts of bagging it and not wanting to be there. But...we're on to a new week. In fact, it's my second to last 4 week cycle of training! Where has the time gone?? While I'm finding myself struggling mentally lately, I know I just need to keep my head focused, hold on, and dig deep.

With the race only a little over 2 months away, it's starting to feel so unbelievably real. We've started to do a little bit of planning and I've started a folder with all the important information I've been gathering. I also had some signs made up at http://www.signsonthecheap.com/. If you want some cheap signs (meaning reasonably priced), I highly recommend this site. You can use templates that are already created or make up your own sign, which is what I did. Here are the three I made for race day, they turned out great! They are 18x24" and plastic.

(one of the last things my Grandmother said to me while talking about my "big race." Daisies were her favorite flower)

(this has been my little mantra over the past few months)

You can also make up banners or magnets on their sister site. I'm thinking my family might need car magnets after the race that say, "my sister is an Iro..." (can't jinx myself).

11 weeks to go!!!

Brick #1

I have 3 big bricks on the schedule through the remainder of my training, 70/14, 80/15 and 90/16, and the first one was this past weekend. For some reason, leading up to this, I didn't give this workout much thought. Since it's usually the bike that frazzles me, I think after riding 80+ miles on the weekends leading up to this, 70 miles seemed really doable. Not sure why, but it didn't register just how big of a workout this was going to be. It hit me on Saturday as I was packing up my stuff and planning my nutrition that I was looking at around 6 hours of working out and that I was going to be going at it alone. I started to get a little anxious but kept telling myself that I would take it easy and use it as an opportunity to test pace and nutrition for race day. No pressure.

As for how it went…there's not much more to say other than it went GREAT! From the moment I started, I felt confident and strong. I never once thought about the overall time I was going to be out there or how hard the day might be. I kept myself in the present moment and when I was on the bike, I focused on only that and didn't let myself think about the run that followed. I focused on my nutrition plan and my cadence and made sure I kept everything steady. The miles flew by and before I knew it I was back at the car at 70.74 miles ready to run.

I packed up as quickly as I could, changed shoes, grabbed fresh water and gels and took off running in under 5 minutes. From the very first step, my legs just wanted to go, I felt great!! When I check my watch after the first mile and saw a sub 9 min pace, I immediately scaled back a bit. I had a long way to go and didn't need to push anything too soon. The first 7 miles were over before I knew it and after a quick pit stop, I headed out for the last half of the run. My body still felt great but I was getting to the point where I was looking forward to calling it a day. (There's only so many hours I can entertain myself for) At my one and only tough moment my friend happened to go by on her bike. After pulling up next to me and chatting for a few minutes, I got my second wind and was ready to tackle the last 3 miles.

I finished feeling like a million bucks and smiling ear to ear. I remembered how a few months ago I asked my coach if anyone ever gets to the point where they can even *imagine* running after a long bike ride. Now here I am…running 14 miles after a 70 mile ride and not thinking twice about it. I've been feeling stronger and more confident as the weeks go by but this weekend really made me realize how far I've come since May.

July Recap

Funny how the beginning of July was the part of my training schedule that worried me the most and now I can't even really remember what had me so scared. With the exception of the death of my grandmother, the month went really well. It included my biggest training weekend to date (90 mi ride, 1.5 mi OWS race, 16 mi run) and then a 15 minute PR at NJ State Olympic Tri. I entered this month a little (ok, I was more like a basket case) worried, not sure if I could handle the workouts as my training hit levels I never saw before. But I'm happy to say, I finished the month feeling better than I have all year. I took it one workout at a time and was surprised at how much my body is adapting and changing. I know I still have 3 months to go, but I think I finally quieted the thoughts that were telling me over and over again that I wasn't cut out for this. I'm starting to visualize how things will come together and I actually believe that this is possible.

July Totals:

Swim - 33080.4 yds

Bike - 465.08 mi

Run - 121.63 mi

I woke up with a little fire lit in me today. Three months to go...THREE MONTHS!!!! I am so ready to get to the big brick workouts that I have coming up and hitting the 106 mile mark on the bike. As I look at my schedule for the next few months, I'm more excited than ever and not plagued with fear. My goal for August, try yet another saddle (my poor hoo ha) and focus. Not just on training but on rest, recovery, nutrition...everything. While I still have 3 months, they are going to fly by. I think I've done a really good job up to this point at making it all work and fitting a some what normal life into the mix. But each time I make an exception for something, I lose a little focus. So from here on out, it's all about training. This is getting real!!!