June went pretty well and it seems I'm good for one breakdown a month. Hit a rough patch the last week of my 4 week training cycle where I was full of doubts and fears. It was worse than normal and for two days I couldn't even talk about training or the race without crying. Nothing is going wrong in training, in fact, things are going really well. It's just that I can't for the life of me see how this is going to be possible. With running, and specifically the 50 miler I did, I could *see* myself crossing the finish line. I've always been able to visualize the race, accept that it's going to be hard, and know I'll push through and finish. But with this, it's so foreign to me and I'm really struggling to see how it will all come together. And when I'm exhausted I'm not rational and my fears get the best of me. It was so bad last week that for a fraction of a second I was so scared that quitting actually crossed my mind. With tears streaming down my face I said to Andy, "promise me you won't let me quit." That's the first time EVER I said the word "quit" out loud and I couldn't believe that word came out of my mouth. But...a week later and feeling so much better, I know quitting would never happen. This little "journey" as they call it might beat me down and break me, but I WILL be an Ironman exactly 4 months from today.
So, back to June...here's a recap:
Swim - 37,350 yds
Bike - 520.39 mi
Run - 100 mi
I think the highlight of the month was hitting 84 miles on the bike. I did this ride, just like every other one so far, solo and I felt really good that I accomplished the distance. I had serious saddle issues that left me in a lot of pain for a few days but mentally and physically, I felt great out there. I will say, when I got off the bike all I could think was "how does anyone run a marathon after this?!?!" I'm pretty positive I could not have run very far when I was done with this ride; my legs were shot! But I've been told it's possible and that eventually you will feel like you can run. I'll keep believing!
I'm currently in my second build week of this 4 week cycle. I have a 1.5 mile OWS in 2 weeks then an Olympic distance tri the following weekend. While I won't be "racing" either of these, I can't wait to be in a race atmosphere. I feel like I've been in a bubble all alone for months and I can't wait to feel the excitement of race day.
IMFL...4 MONTHS FROM TODAY!
2 comments:
if you aren't motivational, I'm not sure who is! I love your June recap and all that mileage! You will be ready, no doubt about it!
If there's one thing people seem to say all the time with IM training, it's that you can't look too far ahead. Trust your training and I know you will get there, one workout at a time.
84 miles... wowzers, hard to imagine!
Keep it up, D!
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