"They all can't be PRs." - Coach Jack
I headed to VA beach early Saturday morning with Coach Jack and my friend Colleen, who were both pacing the the 4:00 marathon group. We arrived to beautiful, warm, sunny weather and headed to the Expo. Expo was nothing special but we did get this awesome shirt and cute race bag. I was hoping the shirt would be green!!
I got to bed later than expected Saturday night but managed to get a few hours of solid sleep. I woke up completely calm Sunday morning and headed out of the house in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. It was a beautiful morning and we knew it was going to be a warm day. One thing I didn't know is how much the heat would affect me during the race...
Anyway, this was a pretty small race with less than 3000 finishers. The half marathoners started an hour before us and the marathoners didn't even use corrals. I lined up just in front of the 3:40 pace leader to avoid the pack of runners around the pacer and my goal was to keep the group in ear shot. Race started off fabulous. I was feeling great and my pace felt so comfortable. The only thing I noticed was that I wasn't focused. I knew this from the get go. Hard to explain but I get into a "zone" and I wasn't there for this race. I was chatting with some runners and that's not something I typically do when I'm focused. The first few miles flew by and the temperatures were perfect!! There wasn't much crowd support but the energy of the other runners was still high and it kept me motivated. At one point we ran through the military base and there were some soldiers/cadets out there cheering for us. It gave me chills to see them and all I could think was that this is nothing compared to what these people do to protect us.
From Coach Jack's advice, I assessed where I was mentally and physically at mile 10. My body was still feeling good but I felt like the race had been long. I couldn't believe I wasn't at the half way mark yet. I remember at Philly I felt incredible at mile 13 and was ready to race from that point. So yesterday, when I was feeling like this, I sort of knew it wasn't the best thought to be having. My splits up to this point were a little quick, but I was feeling good. Looking back, I probably should have scaled back a bit, but hindsight is always 20/20.
Mile 1 - 8:23, Mile 2 - 8:04, Mile 3 - 8:06, Mile 4 - 8:10, Mile 5 - 8:19, Mile 6 - 8:14, Mile 7 - 8:10, Mile 8 - 8:14, Mile 9 - 8:06, Mile 10 - 8:21
We wrapped back around towards the start of the race, running on the boardwalk for a while along the beach and then headed back out the other direction to finish the second half of the race. I was at 1:47:16 at mile 13 which was about 2 minutes ahead of a 3:40 finish. I was happy to see the half way mark, knew I had to keep going strong and was excited about the possibility of a potential PR. We passed the half marathon walkers coming to their finish and this provided a nice distraction and kept me going for a bit. Well, we eventually hit Shore Drive at mile 16 and this was a long stretch of nothing. It was 3 miles of nothing but trees. I started feeling sluggish along this part of the course and really need a pick me up. Unfortunately, there were no pick me ups around and close to mile 19 the 3:40 group passed me. I tried to stick with them but I didn't have it in me. At mile 19 we turned onto Atlantic Ave which was a long and extremely boring stretch. We were out in the sun at this point and there was nothing around us. It was around this point that I officially went to shit. This was such a long stretch and I was surrounded by people walking and saw a runner unconscious waiting for EMT. I can't put blinders on to this stuff and it really affects me mentally. I know I haven't run a ton of races but I have never seen so many walkers! At one point it was only me and 8 walkers. Needless to say, this didn't help my mental meltdown. And yes, I did the unthinkable and I started to walk. I couldn't believe I was walking, and it killed me to do it, but I had nothing in me at that moment to keep me running.
I walked a bit at mile 21 and then started to shuffle along again with tears running down my face. It's a terrible feeling watching 3:40 slip away, then 3:45, then hoping you can hang on for a 3:50. I thought about hanging back and finishing with Coack Jack and Colleen but I wanted to be done as soon as possible so I pushed ahead. It was pissing me off that I was giving up and I can't even explain why I walked. I was tired but I wasn't in pain. I was a little nauseous at one point and my stomach was funny but it wasn't anything debilitating. My mind however, was just shot and I wanted to be done. I spent the remaining miles of the race shuffling along and taking little walk breaks. At mile 24 the 3:50 group came up and I gave it everything I had to stick with them. But I just couldn't. I ran as far as I could with them and then came to a dead stop and starting walking. What a shitty feeling. It was heart breaking to go back and look at my splits, but it shows how down hill things can go so quickly. Up to mile 19 I was holding my pace.
Mile 19 - 8:53, Mile 20 - 9:13, Mile 21 - 10:36, Mile 22 - 9:49, Mile 23 - 10:54, Mile 24 - 10:17, Mile 25 - 9:43, Mile 26 - 9:53
So, official result is 3:51:43. My third and slowest marathon. I'm tearing up just typing that. I know I didn't need anything out of this race and thank God for that. If this was my BQ attempt I would be devastated. It's a flat course which is great for a BQ but I need a little more excitement to keep me going and I clearly prefer to race in cooler conditions. I have a lot of thoughts about the race, but I'll keep that for a later post when I'm feeling a little better. I know a 3:51 isn't easy to come by for a lot of runners but I can't help but beat myself up. It's how I am. I'm very hard on myself and I can't stop wondering what I could have done if I didn't give in to my crazy head and didn't walk. I can't change anything now but I can take what I learned and apply it to the next race. Thankfully, there will be many more where I can redeem myself.
The volunteers along the course were great and when you crossed the finish line you not only got one of the coolest medals ever, but they gave us a hat and a long sleeve t-shirt. Then there's free beer and let me tell you, a Yuengling never tasted so good!!
Overall, I had an incredible weekend. It wasn't the race I was looking for but I got to spend time with some amazing people and those are the memories I'm going to take away from it. We laughed so much and had some hysterical conversations. I'm happy to say that once again I was able to entertain everyone with my poop stories. I won't go into details but let's just say I entered a port-o-pot wearing underwear and came out going commando.